Life doesn't just hand you lemons. Life shoots lemons at you through a bazooka gun. And then life takes one, cuts it in half, and squeezes the juice in your eye. That's what life does. It never hands you anything for free.
I've learned this week is that each individual instance of bad luck is independent of another instance of bad luck. This is why they call it bad luck: a string of unfortunate mishaps that happen in such a sequence that convinces you that the world has suddenly turned its evil focus on YOU. Did it? No. Not really. But it sure seems like it.
Two car accidents in a two span period. The first, on my birthday. The second, not my car. A buttload of claims and adjusters later, I still find myself stuck in more of a mess than I did in the first place.
The hard part is not letting these personal mishaps affect my professional life. However, things in my professional life aren't giving me an easy time either. It's shitty times like these when I tell myself I want to quit. Why the fuck do I volunteer for this shit (volunteer = unpaid, mind you!). Why the hell did people put so much faith in me to do a good job, when I just keep getting shit for trying to do the right thing?
The best advice my mom has ever given me: "Is this (shit) going to matter in 5 years?" The answer is always no, and is supposed to be the positive outlook on life's stupid little problems. But I still have to put up with the shit before it "doesn't matter" anymore.
Maybe I need a private meditation session with myself. Or I need to revisit the edifice of my religion and pray for better days.
It's maddening really, that I can't seem to get a break. I know I trip over the tiniest little things, but sooner or later a million of those tiny little things add up.
I think I need to grab life (or my enemies) by the balls and really set things straight. I am always taken for granted, and taken advantage of, and I always allow myself to be walked on because I know these little battles aren't worth it. But I think I need to grow a pair of my own and really put my foot down to finally gain a little respect.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
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